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Why did the Packers and Eagles acquire quarterbacks when each franchise has their man? Why did Bill Belichick draft only unheard of division two linemen? And does Kliff Kingsbury have a care in the world?

witty sports banter.

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By CJ Funaro  |  May 4, 2020, 5PM EDT



^ New word. It's to describe things that are predictable in nature. It's to describe things like Cinci picking Big Joe Burrow, the Dolphins picking Tua, and the Browns taking a big offensive tackle (as a Browns fan and even bigger Baker fan, I salute you, Andrew Berry). But those are just the positive predictibles. It's a barometer to test "what should of happened, happened, and in logical sequence". There's also the negative ones, like your NY Football Giants not taking the best corner on the board, Bill Belichick's doggo taking a division two player with the 37th overall pick and the Packers continuing to draft incompetently.


Let's talk about the draft process as a whole. Look at how seamlessly the league and ESPN pulled off this draft. Well done. Can you imagine the new elements of the day-to-day of the NFL that ESPN could bring to their digital properties like ESPN+ and social platforms, given the ability for everybody and anybody to turn their Zoom on? More content + more content creators + ease of sharing = more content consumed! And that's good for the business of sports and sports fans alike. While there weren't too many new trends in terms of player types (most GM's continued with a blend of best man on the board scenario + what do we need now), we did see a zig when others zagged with the Packers and Eagles using first and second round picks for QB's Jordan Love and Jalen Hurts, respectively. Yes, you heard this correctly. Carson Wentz got a team to the Super Bowl and Aaron Rodgers -- well -- must we say anything? Fine lets say something. Green bay started the Aaron Rodgers retirement clock whilst near the top of his prime (just packing up the doritos and bud lights into the hiking backpack at the top of the mountain, not yet ready to descend, but getting ready to descend, ok?)


Kliff Kingsbury is out here living the life of our dreams. Let me set the scene. A lit fireplace under the western sun beams brightly as mountainscapes stretch across the Arizona Head Coach's lush living room through the wall to ceiling windows, inviting warm light to seep atop the all-white furniture, as a Ryan-Gosling-in-Crazy-Stupid-Love-looking Kliff Kingsbury sits, relaxed, confident, and unafraid of the wildly impactful set of decisions he'll be making. Props to you Coach. And not to mention some of the families' living rooms to boot.


My favorites from this draft. Dallas got lucky in picking up a WR they absolutely did not expect to fall to them in CeeDee Lamb out of Alabama. He'll be another great weapon in the list of weapons Dak Prescott has at offense, and grabbed two top notch cornerbacks in Trevon Diggs from Alabama and Reggie Robinson, the all star out of Tulsa. Cleveland also got lucky in Alabama's Jedrick Wills Jr. falling to them in the first round, who should sure up that offensive line and give Mayfield some additional time before release with Grant Delpit from LSU providing relief at safety. Denver grabbed my favorite WR in the draft, LSU's Jerry Jeudy, an upgrade from the departing Manny Sanders, as well as KJ Hamler from Penn State, strengthening the overall receiving core.


On this topic I was right about one thing and wrong about another. The Chargers would not be starting Tyrod Taylor at QB come week one, I was right on. The Chargers would be starting Cam Newton, I was wrong on. LA picked up Justin "Sunshine" Herbert out of Oregon, who'll prove to be a competent NFL QB. There are now zero options open for a starting QB position in the NFL, which means Cam Newton will either:  1) sign for a backup role somewhere (no), 2) sit out the season (yes). How can a former Super Bowl playing, MVP winning QB not have a starting spot on one of these rosters? Does he want too much, given his injury last year plus the poor playing the season before that? This will remain a question throughout the lead up to the start of the season. 

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